Hoggerel,

being a poem revised for my Granddaughter
on the occasion of her eleventh birthday



A cross-eyed cat and a three-legged dog
Sat in a back yard talkin’  to a hog.
Said the cross-eyed cat, "I'm a mess, you see
'Cause my eyes're so crossed, I can't climb a tree.
I see some things here and some things there I know which is which, but I can't tell where." Now the dog spoke up, said, "What about me! With one back leg, I can't mark a tree.
I used to run rabbits and an occasional cat, but with these three legs, I can't even do that!" The spotted hog listened to all their woe And thought it was time to let them know
That it ain't all bad for a cross-eyed kitty, And a three-legged dog can be sittin' kinda pretty. He asked the cat, "When a dog chases you And you look for a tree, do you see one or two?"
Cat answered back, "Why Hog, I see three! So how'm I gonna know which is the real tree?" He turned to the dog, and said "Dog can you run?" And Dog answered, "Yes, but it ain't much fun!
I run so slow, or so I’m told, That try as I may, I can't catch a cold." Hog answered back in a voice loud and bold, "If the truth were known and the tale well-told, That you can run at all is worth pure gold.
For a three-legged dog, it's not how fast-- It's that you run at all that makes you first class. Now quit your bitchin' and say 'By God, I'm the fastest dog alive with the name Tripod!'"
Then the spotted Hog said, "Go and have some fun! Let the cat and the dog have a damned good run! When you both tire out like a worn-out fiddle Let the kitty make a jump for the tree in the middle."
When you take a good look at the woe all around, You better count your blessing anywhere they're found.

Last Update: April 2013
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